The more we try to avoid the perils of divorce, the more we are faced with it. Getting children involved makes it even more difficult to bear. Children never asked for this kind of trouble and it can be very hard to admit to them that your family bond is coming to an end. Here are a few tips on talking to your child about divorce when the time comes.
Many people find that telling the truth to a child about something that’s troubling is inappropriate, but children are very resilient and they may even be at an age where they can sometimes process things better than most adults. You must give them the chance to feel what they need to feel in the true light of things. You wouldn’t want them to lie to you, right?
Find the time
Choose the right time to have this serious conversation. The sooner you tell them the better, so don’t keep putting it off. It would be ideal that the mother and father have this talk together in the same room with the children together to help ease the shock. The two of you should work together one last time for the sake of the children. You could all take a short trip together so you can spend some time getting everything out with no distractions.
Have a mediator
If it is not possible to be civil in the same room together, find a friend or a counselor to assist with your talks. A counselor can help the children put things into perspective and they may feel more comfortable saying how they really feel. There should not be judgment or guilty intentions toward the children when they are expressing their own thoughts about the matter. Everyone’s lives are about to be changed forever and now is the time to do what you can to heal.
Allow them to talk anytime
Be open to listening to your child’s thoughts and feelings whenever they feel like talking to you. Give them the time that they need to process things as well. Divorce is an ongoing process that may take years to fully digest, so expect some old emotions to come up and don’t judge them for it. You may have moved on, but they may still have issues that need to be addressed.
Don’t talk bad about your Ex
Watch how you say things about your ex. Don’t constantly say bad things and putting them down, because that person is still your child’s parent and they still love them. Keep the peace as much as you can and help your child to feel secure and happy around both of you.
Do you have any tips for talking about divorce with children?