What is this pressure that we all feel to be perfect humans? Where does it come from? And why does it multiply once we become mothers? Maybe it’s something about being responsible for people who need you, who can’t yet care for themselves, or who depend on you for so much that drives you to chase perfection. And at what point do we realize that being a perfect mom is overrated anyway?
It’s Unhealthy for You
You can physically feel that you’re putting too much pressure on yourself to be four different places at one time. You know that it’s impossible, but you’re determined to do it or else you’ll let someone down. But do you feel those heart palpitations? We know you feel the lack of sleep? Stop and pay attention to how this unnecessary pressure is making your body feel. We get it – you’re a mom – it’s supposed to be stressful sometimes, and life is supposed to be busy.
Be that as it may, isn’t it possible that you need to simplify for your own health’s sake? Your striving to be a perfect mom is putting unnecessary strain on your health, namely your heart, and if you feel this strain on a regular basis, it’s time to examine the standard that you hold yourself to and realize that perfection is an unattainable illusion – one that you shouldn’t want anyway.
Like it or Not – People Learn from Mistakes
That last statement – perfection isn’t something you should want – are you stuck on that? You might be thinking, “Are you crazy?! I’d love to be the perfect mom! Who wouldn’t?” In a perfect world, people don’t screw up. Your kids are perfect, you are perfect, your spouse is perfect. It’s almost a laughable thought, really. Down here in the real world, your kid will deserve some form of punishment 16 times in one day, your spouse will forget to grab the cake on the way home for the birthday party, and you will overcook the chicken you worked hard to prepare.
We wish we could say that you and your family would learn from your everyday “perfect mom” stories, but rarely do people really learn from perfection. Your kids will learn more from you in how you respond to failure than how perfectly you cooked the chicken that night. You need your kids to grow up with some semblance of grace – and learning from your example in showing them grace and showing yourself grace is how they’ll eventually grasp the concept.
Imperfection is Unique
This thought requires a little flexibility on your part, and finally admitting that perfection is overrated. If you can bear to admit that, go with us on this: perfect is boring. Imperfect is unique, it’s meaningful, it’s where the good stories come from. Your children will remember more about the crazy days than the perfect days, and you will too. They’re going to happen, and they’re going to happen uniquely different from someone else’s crazy days, so why not just embrace them?
Release yourself from the standard of perfection. Stay in bed a little longer in the mornings, and with those 10 minutes of extra bed-time, cuddle your sleeping toddler or have a tickle fight. No your bed won’t be made, but we guarantee if you make that okay with you, your stress levels will plummet and your family will love you for it.
