Whether you are dating or married, it is sometimes difficult to come to a common ground on the interests the two of you have if they are not the same. Should you and your partner share all the same interests, or is it still okay to have your own individual hobbies? This debate can sometimes raise the hackles up in some couples, so there are a few points to consider.
He may prefer to spend all day Sunday watching football, when you would rather be out at the thrift stores. Does this mean that you should give up your desire to “pop some tags” in exchange for watching a series of games that you don’t understand or enjoy? Or should he be pulled along at the stores, trying to find the random television that may have his game on just to do what you would rather do? It’s scenarios like this that are the source of many rifts between couples, but it doesn’t have to be that way.
You can both do what you enjoy without needing to do it all together. Time apart to enrich yourselves, as individuals, often makes for a stronger relationship. A big key here is to do little things that support one another in your individual interests, and that doesn’t have to include giving up anything that infringes on your own time and preferences. While you’re out shopping, you may stumble upon a t-shirt with his favorite sports team on it. What a great surprise gift that would make for your partner, and he sees that you acknowledge his joy in his games without you having to sit by his side for every touchdown.
Having individual hobbies makes you both better people. Yes, you are a couple, but you are each your own person, too. That fact should never go away, regardless of how many years you have spent together. Create your sewing room while he plays around in his tool shed. You both still end up at the same dinner table, and now you both will have items to brag about to each other while you eat. Separate interests allow room for you each to gain a new appreciation for each other once you are back together again.
Doing what you love is worth it for those whom you love. If you deny a part of yourself, or your partner is guilty of doing that to himself, it damages that person, as well as the rest of the family. Losing one’s identity to bend for others will eventually catch up to you. Don’t let that happen! Continue to nourish your own soul, and you’ll be able to give to your family even more.
Remember the people the two of you were before you met each other. While you both may have bonded over your mutual love for cooking, or genre of movies, each of you still enjoyed different things. That’s okay! While the two of you have come together as a couple, it doesn’t mean that you lose who you are as individuals. So, keep space available for you both to enjoy things apart as much as you enjoy interests together.
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