My family and I went to a farm a few weeks back, we grabbed pumpkins, took a hay ride and were puttering around looking at animals. My oldest and I stopped to look at a baby cow and stopped next to a mom waiting to milk the cows with her five kids. I watched her try to take a photo of the kids. She tried at least four times and usually two or three would look at the camera but the others would be staring off or moving… you know how it is.
She saw me watching we laughed. Then I made a friendly comment about how I had a hard time getting my two girls to look at the camera, it must be even crazier with five. She smiled and moved on. I spent the next twenty minutes worried that I’d offended her. Finally my husband looked at me and said “If she was offended, it’s her problem.”
And he’s right! I’m so tired of these blog posts that have been cropping up everywhere with titles like “10 things NOT to say to your Single Friends,” or “15 Things that Offend Women without Kids…” I get that these situations are personal and sometimes sensitive, but when a well-meaning person has to second guess every comment they make, it’s time to chill out. It’s hard enough to make friends without being paranoid.
Oh My, Don’t Say This to a Mom in Yoga Pants
Here are 3 things we should stop telling mamas:
This is what you shouldn’t say: Obviously we should all be a little kinder, a little more tolerant and a little less judgmental. But, we shouldn’t have to censor our well-meaning comments because people are too thin skinned. Most of the questions and comments aren’t intended to be offensive (unless they’re coming from your mother-in-law and then all bets are off…) so if someone says something that bothers you, politely tell them so or pull an Elsa and let it go.
This is how you should raise your children: A few days ago a mom made the news because she punched a 20-year old woman in the face after the woman told her to quiet her crying toddler. Now, I don’t know about you, but I kind of get where mama was coming from. If you have never had to suffer through a line at the grocery store with a fussy kid you don’t get to “ask” us to please quiet the kids. We’ve probably tried. A lot. And now we’re trying to not give in and give them the sucker they are screaming about. I wouldn’t punch someone in the face but I’m just saying, if you’re going to go head-to-head with a mom, in public, about her parenting skills, you might get a major smack down.
Put away the Yoga Pants: Okay, this is slightly in jest and slightly serious. I’ve seen some pretty nasty comments by women about moms who hit the store in leggings or yoga pants. I mean, of all of the parenting issues we have to face are leggings and yoga pants really that big of a deal? No. When I’m picking up kids, sweeping my floor, folding laundry, picking up toys, cooking and navigating the war zone known as my house, I need to be able to move. So please, leave me and my leggings in peace.