Honesty Between Couples

CoupleNow that the flowers from Valentine’s Day are wilted and the chocolates consumed, you’re often left with the day-to-day activities between you and your partner.  Throughout these days, you’re sometimes faced with instances where you are given the opportunity to be truly honest or to let things slide.  Which one do you choose?  We’re here to discuss honesty between couples and just how important those issues are to a strong relationship.

To be clear, we’re not talking just about the little things, such as, “Does this outfit look okay on me” and how you may want to say that the 80’s are calling and want their style back.  We’re talking about the deeper issues that tend to fester between couples and have the tendency to lead to resentment and anger.  Although, a gentle reminder that day-glo colors really only work on a certain age group may be in order.

If you’re faced with financial issues that have you either questioning your actual state of affairs, or you’re trying to shield your partner from how bad things really are in that department, honesty is the only way to go.  Considering that money issues is often cited as the number one cause of divorce and break-ups, you really can’t afford to let this one get away from you.  Address it with full disclosure and come up with a plan of attack together.

The issue of infidelity is another one where you have to look at how honest one should be with their partner.  If you were the one who strayed, being honest about it now is better than your partner finding out another way or through someone else.  With you going to him, with hat in hand, to confess and find a way of building a bridge back to healing between the two of you is a hard road to hoe, but it’s worth it if you want to keep your relationship strong and based on respect and honesty.  Of course, the issue of trust will be tested, but that is worthy of an entire article on its own.

Set up something akin to a date night, but let it be focused on addressing whatever pressing issue is holding you back from being honest or feeling that you’re not getting honesty from your partner.  Having uninterrupted time with no children or cell phones around to interfere will create the space needed to do this properly.  A weekend would be a good time, too, so that the two of you aren’t coming off a hard day at the office when your brains are already fried.

Also, remember to have an attitude of love behind all that you say and do.  This isn’t about who is right or who is wrong, or who the victim in the situation.  It’s about bringing the two of you together to make you both stronger as a couple.  Focus on the problem, not the people behind it.  It’s a thing that the two of you are battling, not each other.  Remain in a place of love, even if you’re the only one doing it.  You will be stronger in the end, no matter what.