Great Quotations from Birthday Gal Phyllis Diller!

Dan Callister/Getty Images
Dan Callister/Getty Images

Today would have been Phyllis Diller’s 96th birthday. Unfortunately for the world, Diller — the American actress and comedian who rose to fame after World War II — passed away last August. Nonetheless, her legacy prevails. After all, Diller was an exceptionally talented comedian with a stage persona that’s especially appealing to us at ModernDayMom: She focused her jokes around the trials of being both a housewife and a mother. It’s important to note, however, the struggles that Diller endured throughout her life. Despite having a successful television and stage career, Diller’s personal life was riddled with pain and heartache.

Married and divorced twice, Diller had six children with her first husband, Sherwood Diller. She experienced a painfully unique motherhood: Three of her children have passed away — one of which tied within two weeks of his birth — and one, Sally, has suffered from schizophrenia her entire life. Diller was a model of strength in both her professional life and her personal life. So, we’ve decided to honor her on her birthday by picking some of her best — and most hilarious — quotations. And, of course, they’re all related to being a housewife or a mother, so you’ll undeniably appreciate them.

“Most children threaten at times to run away from home. This is the only thing that keeps some parents going.”
“I want my children to have all the things I couldn’t afford. Then I want to move in with them.”
“We spend the first twelve months of our children’s lives teaching them how to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.”
“Housework can’t kill you, but why take a chance?”
“I’ve buried a lot of my laundry in the backyard.”
“Always be nice to your children because they’re the ones who will choose your rest home.”
“Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age — as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.”
“Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing.”

We think it’s safe to say that Phyllis Diller had a knack for winning over housewives and mothers around the world–and we certainly wish she was around to be Twittering today. Happy birthday, Phyllis Diller!