One of the most devastating realizations that may happen in a relationship is discovering that there is another woman involved in your husband’s life. Your head may begin to start spinning, and anger almost always rears its ugly head. What do you do when you make this life changing discovery? Here are a few things to remember.
Breathe
Yeah, okay, so it’s not a real take action kind of step, but it is, if you think about it. When you’re freaked out and stressed, you begin to breathe shallowly and even hold your breath at times. This is not a fertile environment for your mind to process what just happened. So, breathe deeply and often. Get your mind and body in tune so you may better assess and deal with this situation.
Discover the Facts
Unless you walked in and caught them red handed, don’t just presume that something is going on until you have gathered all the hard, cold facts. Don’t just read between the lines (although, that can be helpful), but see what you can find out that is irrefutable. Does he have receipts that don’t add up? Is there a way to spy on or have a trusted friend snoop around to see what is going on? Collect some solid intel before confronting your man.
Lay It On the Table
Once you have all the facts gathered, it’s time to face the music with him as the audience. Be honest, but keep to the facts of the matter without your emotions running the show. I know – easier said than done, but try your best. There’s a time and place for your emotions to go full force, but the initial confrontation may not be the best of either. Just bring the situation to light.
Pick Yourself Up
Whether this is something you discovered on your own or he came out and told you, discovering that he is involved with another woman will knock you down. That’s not to say you’re not strong, but even the best of us get to visit that low point sometime. It’s okay, too. Just don’t linger there for too long. Pick yourself up and develop a plan for the next step.
Do What You Have to Do
This step is pretty straight forward. If you need to kick him out or leave yourself, do it! If you need to find a lawyer, start dialing or doing your own web search. Don’t wait too long to take this step, since hesitation may be your biggest stumbling block to accomplishing the step before this. Be like Nike and “just do it”.
Be Gentle With Yourself
Do not blame yourself for his infidelity. He’s a grown man and he made his own choices. Don’t blame the other woman, either, since he had to choose to engage in this conduct by his own free will. Blame really gets you nowhere but further in a downward spiral, so don’t mess with it at all. Treat yourself to a spa day or a night out with your girlfriends, and remember to love yourself more than anything else.
What would you do if you thought you had a cheating husband?
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