How to Be a Better Friend

Be a Better Friend

If you are anything like me, you miss (at least a little) the freedom of the days before kids. When you could run out and grab lunch with your girlfriends without having to worry about a babysitter or scheduling dinner and a movie with the girls around preschool, recitals and doctor appointments.

 My days are filled from sunup to sundown with getting the kids ready for school, cleaning the house, paying bills, writing a few articles, more cooking, shuttling my kids around, homework duty, trying to squeeze in my exercise routine and finding time to give my girls something other than macaroni and cheese for dinner. Long gone are the days when I can spare 15 minutes for a chat with my best gal pal on the phone, let alone feel like I’m being the kind of friend I want to be.

 If you feel like you are slacking off in the friendship department, here are a few mommy-duty-friendly ways to make sure your friends get the attention they deserve too.

Take five

If you are one of those moms who use her spare five minutes before the kids get out of school sorting the mail or writing a check, take a break from it once a week to catch up with an old friend. If you really don’t have time to chat, send a quick text or Facebook message to let them know you are thinking about them.

 Go old school

I hate writing emails or long texts on my phone. My fingers cramp and half of my words end up misspelled. Instead of sending a text, grab a postcard, write a quick note, and mail it off. Everyone loves getting a letter in the mail.

Splurge once a month

Adult conversation, especially with another woman, can be a lifesaver for moms. Set aside at least one night a month you can reconnect with your besties. Recruit dad or a sitter for a few hours and go out somewhere you can talk. If money is tight, consider trading hosting duties once a month and bring your own snacks. Once a month is doable for most moms and frequent enough that you don’t forget what your friend looks like.


It’s a simple concept and one I think many people forget about. Even if you don’t have a lot of time to spend talking and hanging out, finding a way to help your friend goes a long way in making her feel loved, so that when you do have more free time she’ll still want you around. Whether it’s a quick note with a batch of cookies or taking care of her kids when she’s under the weather, simple acts of kindness go a long way.

 Friendship shouldn’t feel like a chore. If you are making an honest effort to support your friendships and you aren’t getting that support in return, it may be time to find another friend who is willing to make an effort too.

 What types of things do you and your girlfriends like to do when you have time to hang out?

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