As a mom I probably give myself more snarky, judgmental looks in the mirror than anyone else ever gives me. Sometimes it doesn’t seem to matter how much I accomplished during the day, there is always something I’m not doing good enough. Toss in access to mommy websites with snarkiness and mean-girlitis to spare and it’s a miracle if any mom feels okay about themselves at the end of the day.
I’ll never say that we don’t all have room for improvement. For sure, we could do better in some areas. Yes, we probably do neglect some things that need more of our attention. But if we balance everything out we’re not really doing a bad job. While there are areas us moms need to feel that pressure to encourage growth and change, there are some things we don’t have to feel guilty about.
Fibbing to your kids: As I like to call it, ‘selective teaching.’ Yup. My kids think Santa is real, hugging their favorite toy will keep the nightmares away and that they need to brush their teeth so monsters don’t dig holes in their teeth. My girls don’t need to know what really happens when mommy and daddy are “sleeping,” or that Miley Cyrus has a third personality (Hannah Montana, Miley and Miss. Twerk). I don’t lie to my kids, but I feel confident that keeping their innocence awake a little longer is what’s best for them.
Nursing or not: This tired battle is ridiculous. If you are feeding your kids, pat yourself on the back. If your kids are actually eating what you feed them, you should probably throw a party. There are far worse things to do to your kids than opting to keep your breasts your own. I nursed and loved it and my kids are healthy. My sisters used formula and loved it and their kids are healthy.
Letting your kids play princess: I’m all about women’s rights but in my book that includes the right to dress up in pink frilly dresses, a feather boa, sparkly wand and glittery makeup and call yourself Princess. Yes, teach your daughters to respect themselves and teach them that being a princess means loving yourself. But it’s also okay to whip out the tea set and ham up the glamor with no lesson included too. Ignore the haters who think you’re sending your kids back to the dark ages when you let them wear anything pink.
Letting your kids crawl into bed: Both of my girls slept with me and sometimes they still do. Yes our bed gets crunchy and when my husband really needs to sleep, I’ll crawl out of my bed and squish into theirs for a little while. Maybe I’m not promoting healthy sleeping habits and maybe this perpetual state of exhaustion is my fault, but I’ll take it. My girls are getting older and they want me less and less, so I’ll take all the cuddle time I can get. I don’t think I’m going to regret it when they grow up and move away and start cuddling with their own kids.
Saying no: Alright. I won’t lie, I’m still working on this one. Saying no is probably the hardest thing for me, but the fact is if you don’t start telling your kids no when they are little, they aren’t going to listen when they get older. I don’t want my kids to be entitled and I want them to know that we don’t always get what we want when we want it. Just remember to say yes too.
What “bad mommy moves” don’t you feel guilty about?
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