I know from experience how tough it can be to keep romance alive and well after having given birth to a child. With constant sleep deprivation, schedules completely out of whack, food for myself being a second (or sometimes a third) thought while trying to maintain the normal day-to-day necessities left me with less than no desire or ability to appreciate the concept of romance, much less trying to plan for any sort of candlelit evening. There have even been times when it was deemed a “date” to actually eat in a McDonald’s rather than just simply using the drive-thru.
However, there are ways to keep romance alive after kids have come in and added a few additional distractions to what used to be a “normal” routine. After some years of trial and error, I have four tips that have worked to help me and my husband find time, or make most of what little time is available to us.
1. Make Romance a Priority
While a child of any age is always a priority, other things, including romantic interludes, should be high on the priority list, as well. It was a little easier when my children were babies, since toddler-hood brings a whole new set of challenges, but where there is a will, there is a way. Even through the crazy schedules, I always remember that my partner is as much of a priority to me as our child is to both of us.
2. Tap into Your Creativity
Yes, creativity is key! Thinking outside of the box – or, rather, the bedroom – expands the options and opportunities. While I always keep things discreet and proper in front of my children, that doesn’t mean that I’m not an opportunist. Finding him alone in the laundry room gives me a good reason to go in there, shut the door and plant a meaningful kiss on him and a wink to think about later.
3. Sometimes Simple is Best
Not everything romantic has to be about sex. Romance is often about just letting the other partner know that they are loved and thought of constantly. One thing I still do to this day is use those plastic Easter eggs to hold little love notes, along with a piece of my husband’s favorite candy. I hide these eggs randomly all over the house in areas I know he frequents, so he can find them any time of the year. It always brings a smile to his face and a kiss on my cheek.
4. Ask for Help
I ask my mother-in-law for help watching the kids when she’s in town to allow my husband and I a few precious hours to go out and have a date. Trusted friends, especially those with kids of their own, are a great source of help when looking for a little time alone. Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you want or need it. Remember tip number one is keeping romance a priority, so asking for help from others to keep it a priority works hand-in-hand.
Any other tips you’d suggest?
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