4 Tips on How to Keep Cool When You See Your Ex

How to keep cool when you see your ex again

One of the worst things that can happen after a break-up or divorce is to see your ex while out and about.  Whether it’s passing in the street, in a restaurant or at a mutual friend’s party, it can make your heart drop and every ounce of knowledge of the English language vaporize from memory in an instant.   However, there are 4 tips on how to keep cool when you see your ex, even if things are still tense between the two of you.

1 – Keep It Simple

A simple smile at him, then continuing on with what you were doing is the easiest thing to do.  You still are acknowledging his presence, but without causing any drama.  Ducking and running out of the place certainly will draw attention, by more than just your ex, so keep it simple and low-key.  Avoiding his gaze may just make things worse, especially if he feels the need to at least say “hello”, which means a more face-to-face interaction. So, get it over with early, quickly and on your terms.

2 – At a Social Gathering, Retain Your Focus

If you bump into your ex at a party or other social event, keep your focus on why you’re really there.  If it’s someone’s birthday or celebrating a holiday, stay in the proper festive mood and don’t shift your focus on how to avoid (or how to “accidentally” bump into) your ex.  This keeps your mind where it should be, as well as making all your other friends more comfortable knowing that they don’t have to worry about unwanted distractions.  Above all else, avoid over-consumption of alcohol at these functions, too.  Too much to drink plus hurt emotions don’t make for a great party, as we all know, so just keep those numbers of drinks in check.

3 – If You Must Speak, Keep It Short

Sometimes, it’s unavoidable to have to talk to your ex.  If you must, then keep your responses short and sweet.  Saying too much just opens the door for other words to be said that may not be ready to be heard or uttered at that time and place.  Keep the floodgates in place by replying cordially, but let brevity be the rule of thumb.  If you do find yourself rattling on, it’s okay to just stop mid-sentence, take a quick breath and finish with a shorter version.  It’s not easy, but it is always manageable.

4 – New Girl Sighting?  Walk Away

Seeing your ex with a new girl on his arm is often adding insult to injury for most.  If you encounter that dreaded scenario, the best immediate course of action is to simply walk away from the situation.  Yep, just pack up and get away from the area, but do it as calmly and gracefully as possible even if it’s just for a few moments to let the shock wear off before returning.  Breathe.  Seriously, just breathe.  You can’t think straight if you’re holding your breath or breathing too fast.  Take a few deep ones, gather yourself and continue on.  You can do this!

Photo credit: Thinkstock

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