2013 Teen Choice Awards! All The Winners–And Helpful Notes On Who They Are!

Did you watch the 2013 Teen Choice Awards  on the FOX network last night? Or did you just kind of watch your kids watching it? Yes,we pretty much did the same–but we also keep track of teen culture as part of our jobs here at ModernDayMom. that’s why we can go over last night’s Teen Choice Awards winners and  do some annotation. Check out this list and our own deep thoughts, and you’ll be able to at least have an opinion if your children decide to shock you and ask your opinion about something….  [homepage pic: Kevin Winter/Getty Images]

Rebel Wilson (photo: Jason Merritt/Getty Images)
Rebel Wilson (photo: Jason Merritt/Getty Images)

CHOICE MOVIE: DRAMA: The Perks of Being a Wallflower [This film version of a popular Young Adult novel had a little too much high drama for our tastes, but at least it’s an inspiring story of young people finding their way in life, and hopefully learning that some adults can be a bad influence]

CHOICE MOVIE ACTOR: DRAMA: Logan Lerman, The Perks of Being a Wallflower [Did you take your children to see Percy Jackson: Sea of Monsters? This is the kid who plays Percy. He might have been playing the new Spider-Man, too, if the first Percy Jackson movie hadn’t bombed so badly in the States.]

CHOICE MOVIE: COMEDY: Pitch Perfect [Oh, it was a harmless enough movie about college misfits forming a singing group and going into a competition. At least it made college look a place where dedication and striving for excellence can be fun.]

CHOICE MOVIE ACTOR: COMEDY: Skylar Astin, Pitch Perfect [His character is an aspiring soundtrack composer and all-around good guy who joins the misfits in their competition]

CHOICE MOVIE ACTRESS: COMEDY: Rebel Wilson, Pitch Perfect [You might have caught a glimpse of this Australian comedienne hosting this year’s MTV Movie Awards. She’s another misfit in the singing group, and a curvy and confident big gal who’s probably a good role model to certain young ladies]

CHOICE TV SHOW: DRAMA: Pretty Little Liars [It’s on ABC Family, but this drama–based on a popular Young Adult series–isn’t necessarily family viewing. It’s a kind of Gothic suburban saga about a group of popular young women beset by a malicious and mysterious foe who’s remaining anonymous]

Lea Michele (photo: Kevin Winter/Getty Images)
Lea Michele (photo: Kevin Winter/Getty Images)

CHOICE TV ACTRESS: COMEDY: Lea Michele, Glee [She was co-star Cory Monteith’s girlfriend in real life, and we appreciate the reports that she’s asking Glee to kill off Cory’s character in a way that addresses drug abuse. A touching acceptance speech, too]

CHOICE TV ACTOR: DRAMA: Ian Harding, Pretty Little Liars [Winning the category for the fourth year in a row, and we don’t mind his character as a conscientious teacher who at least feels bad when he realizes he’s dating a student at the school where he teaches]

CHOICE TV ACTRESS: DRAMA: Troian Bellisario, Pretty Little Liars [Winning the category for the third year in a row, and at least she plays the smartest of the cool kids on the show]

CHOICE TV ACTOR: FANTASY/SCI-FI: Ian Somerhalder, The Vampire Diaries [You might remember him from Lost, but now Ian’s best known as one of the more moral vampires on this supernatural drama]

CHOICE TV ACTOR: ACTION: LL Cool J, NCIS: Los Angeles [Remember when he was a really cool and innovative rapper? Well, it was a long time ago]

CHOICE TV SHOW: COMEDY: Glee [Yes, it’s still on the air, but you probably didn’t remember until you read about the recent overdose death of actor Cory Monteith. Unless your child is a really big fan of the show, in which case you always know which music was featured the week before]

Jim Parsons (photo: Jason Merritt/Getty Images)
Jim Parsons (photo: Jason Merritt/Getty Images)

CHOICE TV ACTOR: COMEDY: Jim Parsons, The Big Bang Theory [Well, it’s nice to see a Teen Choice Award going to a guy starring in a show about really smart people–even if it does treat them like geeks. Even the astronaut]

CHOICE FEMALE ARTIST: Demi Lovato [She used to dance with that dinosaur Barney, and the child starlet went on to some troubled times–but now she’s a judge on The X Factor and not a bad role model, either]

CHOICE MUSIC GROUP: One Direction [Oh, this mix of English and Irish teen idols are even bigger than The Jonas Brothers were six years ago, so who knows how long they’ll last?]

CHOICE R&B ARTIST: Bruno Mars [To your children “R&B” seems to be a lot like what older generations knew as “new wave.” You don’t have to worry about things getting too funky.]

CHOICE ROCK GROUP: Paramore [Wow, they’ve been around for almost ten years now–and at least they’re a real rock band, instead of a pop act wearing ragged clothes]

CHOICE FEMALE HOTTIE: Selena Gomez [Remember when she was Justin Bieber’s cute little girlfriend? Well, she’s all grown up now, and at least her videos aren’t as scandalous as anything from Hannah Montana Mily Cyrus]

CHOICE FEMALE ATHLETE: Gabby Douglas [Remember this gymnast from the Olympics last summer? She was so sweet! But we still kind of wish they’d brought up McKayla Maroney to get a medal for a second place Teen Choice Award. We would’ve liked to have seen the smirk]

CHOICE MOVIE VILLAIN: Adam DeVine, Pitch Perfect [Oh, he just played an arrogant member of the polished vocal team going up against the misfit vocal team. It’s better that our children know him for this than from his work on the television show Workaholics–which is funny, but not fit for our children]

CHOICE TV VILLAIN: Janel Parrish, Pretty Little Liars [Wait, we though this character had become a good person again. Wow, these shows can get complicated]

CHOICE TV PERSONALITY: FEMALE: Demi Lovato, The X Factor [Well, she’s not a mean television judge, so we can’t complain]

CHOICE TV MALE SCENE STEALER: Chord Overstreet, Glee [He’s a pop musician who’s taken a recurring role on Glee as a real nice guy, so we don’t mind him stealing scenes]

Miley Cyrus (photo: Kevin Winter/Getty Images)
Miley Cyrus (photo: Kevin Winter/Getty Images)

CHOICE TV FEMALE SCENE STEALER: Miley Cyrus, Two And a Half Men [We wish she was still Hannah Montana–but at least her character on Two and  a Half Men didn’t sleep around. Too much]

CHOICE TV BREAKOUT STAR: Blake Jenner, Glee [He’s not part of the Kardashian family. Blake is just a regular hard-working guy who won a reality-show competition to land a  role on Glee, so good for him]

Demi Lovato (photo: Kevin Winter/Getty Images)
Demi Lovato (photo: Kevin Winter/Getty Images)

CHOICE SINGLE: FEMALE ARTIST: Demi Lovato, “Heart Attack” [Oh, it’s not a bad song, and the lyrics are about falling in love again after a heartbreak, which is a message young people need to hear]

CHOICE SINGLE: GROUP: One Direction, “Live While We’re Young” [It’s a bubblegum tune that rips off a few older songs, and we could do with the lyrics that seem to equate living while their young with having lots of compulsive sex. Real nice, young men]

CHOICE LOVE SONG: One Direction, “Little Things” [This one’s a little more tolerable. It’s upbeat pop with lyrics that celebrate a person’s flaws instead of generic beauty. A nice  pairing with their “What Makes You Beautiful”–but we still don’t trust these kids, because of that “Live While You’re Young” song]

CHOICE BREAK-UP SONG: Selena Gomez, “Come And Get It” [Well, this is kind of a weird idea of a break-up song. It sounds more like Selena is patiently waiting for her boyfriend to come back to her. She needs to listen to Demi Lovato’s “Heart Attack” a few times.]

CHOICE MUSIC BREAKOUT ARTIST: Ed Sheeran [This rising pop star wrote “Little Things” for One Direction, and didn’t write “Live While You’re Young,” so we’re okay with him.

CHOICE MUSIC BREAKOUT GROUP: Emblem3 [This band emerged from The X Factor, and they sure do cover a lot of different kinds of sounds. Is it too cynical to think that they might have

CANDIE’S CHOICE STYLE ICON: Miley Cyrus [We used to wear Candies, too, but we’re hoping we’re better role models to our children than Miley is now. Yes, we’re prudes, but we also know what Miley’s referring to when she talks about “molly” in one of her songs]

Sandra Bullock (photo: Kevin Winter/Getty Images)
Sandra Bullock (photo: Kevin Winter/Getty Images)

CHOICE SUMMER MOVIE STAR: FEMALE: Sandra Bullock, The Heat [We wouldn’t let our children watch this movie until they were 14, but nothing wrong with a strong female role model winning a Teen Choice Award]

CHOICE MOVIE CHEMISTRY: Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy, The Heat  [Nothing wrong with two strong female role models winning a Teen Choice Award]

CHOICE SUMMER TV SHOW: Pretty Little Liars [It still doesn’t seem like a family show to us]

CHOICE SUMMER TV STAR: MALE: Keegan Allen, Pretty Little Liars [Eew, he plays that creepy loner on the show. Well, we guess it’s nice that girls like creepy loners]

CHOICE SUMMER TV STAR: FEMALE: Lucy Hale, Pretty Little Liars [Her character’s a nice girl, but we really like that Lucy Hale is planning to make a country album. That’s different]

ACUVUE INSPIRE AWARD: Nick Jonas [Isn’t he an oldies act now? Well, he just posted a picture of himself showing off his muscles, so maybe that inspired someone]

CHOICE SUMMER SONG: Miley Cyrus, “We Can’t Stop” [Oh, we can’t win with this one. A blatant drug reference here, but the other big summer song is Robin Thicke’s “Blurred Lines,” and we have to worry about our children watching the uncensored video]

CHOICE SUMMER MUSIC STAR: FEMALE: Selena Gomez [She’s wholesome enough, still, and we like the Bollywood influence in some of her new songs]

CHOICE SUMMER MUSIC STAR: MALE: Bruno Mars [Did we mention that we prefer our soulful R&B stars to sound less like new wave?]

CHOICE SUMMER TOUR: One Direction, Take Me Home Tour [We hope it was a good tour, because we know that we’re going to have to see the 3D concert film that’s opening soon]

Ashton Kutcher (photo: Kevin Winter/Getty Images)
Ashton Kutcher (photo: Kevin Winter/Getty Images)

ULTIMATE CHOICE AWARD: Ashton Kutcher [And finally, a wholesome note, since Ashton Kutcher took advantage of this opportunity to plug his new biopic about Steve Jobs by offering a kind of commencement speech. It’s a good one for kids to hear, too. Listen for yourself, as Ashton talks about the importance of opportunities and hard work…]